It’s been grand
I never in a million years thought I would be where I am now. After trying to tackle 2 fulltime jobs and a family, I picked up a third. One very valuable in how I see my son’s world shaping up before him.
SlutWalk was a reaction to not one officer’s remark, but to a history that was doomed to keep repeating. Insults, degredation, shame, rape. As I’ve said before, I never thought it would resonate around the world. No matter what I’ve been labeled—slut, whore, feminist, anti-feminist, sexy feminist, fucking feminist, racist, anti-racist, privileged—I am not ashamed to have been part of something that garnered heated discussions about the use of language, shaming and sexual profiling.
Because of the immense attention that SlutWalk has received, all our lives have been turned upside down and inside out. One major lesson I learned is that with me fighting for a better future for my son, I was in fact, leaving him behind in the wake. I was trying so hard to be everything for everyone. I know now that it’s impossible to live without sleep and love, and with that, I have decided to step down from being a lead organizer for SlutWalk Toronto.
I lost one job to SlutWalk Toronto and almost lost my son, and it’s time to refocus on my life’s plan: to continue working on the business I’ve been killing myself to build for 2 years on the side, and to engage deeply with my family. I will still participate in SWTO, concentrating on the local aspect, primarily a PSA program against shaming and victim-blaming, and hoping to work with our Police force to help spread this word. But I leave the larger components to my good friend and Co-founder Heather Jarvis and the team she is building around her. They’ve been working hard to not only advance the cause, but to adjust and morph based on constructive criticisms we’ve experienced. It will just take time. If you want to help make a difference, engage with them to help propel the message forward.
SWTO is a force to be reckoned with in this city, as are the independent Satellites around the world. They’ve taken up their own initiatives, dealing with their own local issues. We acknowledge they’re building on groundwork laid for them by SWTO, as much as we acknowledge the groundwork by movements before us. Not one movement aims to fit all, nor should it. It’s all organic and there are so many tenets to deal with, we should take from them what we can. Learn, build, teach. Repeat.
I learned more in three months about activism, feminism, and sexual assault than I did in 15 years. Some depressing, some amazing, all eye-opening. The best way to learn about something is to immerse yourself in it. I’m very glad I did. I will be able to teach my son quite a bit.
Yes, ‘slut’ is a word that I would identify with. I can proudly add ‘Feminist’ to that list. These words were given to me. I’ll make them fit for me, and not try to fit into them. So keep up the good fight. We should all be doing at least a little bit to make the world a better place for those that walk after us.