BLOGPOST: Being a slut and getting pissed off

I’ve answered hundreds, maybe even thousands of questions relating to “why SlutWalk?” I never thought that I’d have to answer this question so many times, or that my reaction to one cop’s comment would get me to where I am today.

I can remember where I was when it all started. I was at work {I’m a fulltime Art Director at a boutique communications agency} and as I was leaving for lunch, I read on my phone a Facebook post about the York University Excal story that broke this whole thing open. Expressing my disdain over the officer’s comment, I noticed that my friend, Heather Jarvis, was expressing the same thing on her own Facebook status. Within a few texts, we decided we couldn’t just sit there and not say something.

Telling one of my co-workers about the story, she asked what it was we were planning to do. “I dunno; I guess we’ll head over to Police Headquarters. We’ll have… what… a slut walk. Or something”.

Well, that something turned into SlutWalk Toronto. What we thought would be a fairly small group of people grew into a significant movement within a matter of weeks. We had to move fast, and Heather and I were joined by another friend, Jeanette Janzen, who became our researcher. We were also lucky to be contacted by Alyssa Teekah, herself a York student and feminist organizer on campus. Add Erika Jane Scholz as our Volunteers Coordinator, and we were five women determined to get a point across.

I learned and realized a lot about myself in those weeks leading up to the big event. I hadn’t used the term ‘feminist’ to describe myself since University, and even then I only did it, albeit occasionally, because of the few feminist teachings I garnered there {I was so concentrated on my design program, I didn’t notice much else}. I retreated from the word over the years, due to its reputation of ‘man-hating, hairy-legged, birkenstock-wearing’ descriptions that appeared around the term. I certainly didn’t fit that bill.

Over the years, I had pretty much all but forgotten the term. Maybe it was just that I decided to become interested in concerns that never used it. But despite me being a strong-willed woman, who loves all things related to sexual confidence and sexuality in general, it was rare that I came across the word ‘feminist’.

I would label myself a ‘slut’ before a ‘feminist’ {funny, since I avoided the latter due to what I considered the bad reputation it had}. I’ve always enjoyed sex, hot sex, consensual sex. Starting to discover this in high school, I got the reputation of ‘slut’, and was pretty pissed that I got stuck with that label, when the guys I slept with got high fives. But despite the shame of such a label, it didn’t stop me from enjoying a good fuck.

I always told myself that should a high school reunion come ’round, I’d never go. I didn’t want to walk in and have people think or say “oh yeah; you were such a a slut” {although, now that I think of it, sleeping with a handful of guys over my entire high school career doesn’t seem like much}. But in the last few years, I’ve come to embrace my sluthood, especially after honing a certain code. Sex should always be between consenting adults, and all parties involved {because sometimes there are more than two} need to know and be fine with such an intimate exchange. To be honest, I can’t respect someone who doesn’t live by a similar code. Anything involving lies and deception is something I don’t want to be near. To me, it’s a judgement of character. Excusable in high school students, not so much in adulthood.

So when The Ethical Slut finally landed on my bookshelf, I felt vindicated. I could finally dump the learned shame of enjoying sex. I’ve seen people do way worse to others and never get labeled with such a harsh word originally meant to inflict a serious sting. So to hell with those who thought I was a bad person for enjoying sex, who thought I was less deserving of respect.

Having been a confident slut for sometime, this January the word was slung out again as an epithet, but this time it wasn’t by a high school kid. It was by someone who demands respect by way of authority. Someone who’s charged with a person’s safety. Someone who should know better. So when I read the quote in the Excal, “don’t dress like a slut…”, I could almost hear the blame dripping from the word.

It angered me to think that while I managed to learn about healthy sexuality in my adulthood, why hadn’t this person done the same? Who was he to insult people in such a way? I knew that he hadn’t read the Ethical Slut. I knew that he wasn’t using the word in a positive light, as many do these days. He used it as a slur, and it was laced with ideas that some people don’t deserve respect. Sure, he may not think that sluts deserve to get raped, but he didn’t launch a conversation that day about sexuality and language. He continued to perpetuate a stereotype.

Having struggled so long against this stereotype, I was pissed off that it hadn’t gone away. I had been in my own idyllic bubble, surrounding myself with creative and liberated people that have healthier ideas about sex and respect. I hadn’t heard the word ‘slut’ used as a pejorative for ages. And it came up and slapped me in the face. It hit me so hard, it was time to hit back.

So with no ‘feminist’ stance, zero protesting background {I grew up in a house that avoided conflict, so marching for a cause just wasn’t in me} yet with the same attitude I’ve been using to try and make my son’s world a better place for dialogue and respect of others, I took a stand. Sure, I’ve pissed off a lot of people along the way {I’ve become pretty unapologetic over the last few years}. I’m sure I’ll have a few missteps. I’ll learn a hell of a whole lot more about myself and others, about gender, sexuality, law and the world in general. I may even piss off people who are on my side — I’m human, far from perfect, and one of the many things that have been proven to me repeatedly is that things aren’t black and white, and you can’t please everybody. But I’m proud that I didn’t stay quiet.

photo of opening speech by Franz E Kinkerzoink

 

93 Comments

  1. Nic says:

    Have you ever read yes means yes by jacklyn friedmen. Fantastic book!!!

    • Pamela McGuinness says:

      I think this is an opportunity to address the issue of legalizing prostitution. We have such a fascination/revulsion toward sex in this country. Can’t we talk about this pervasive issue with some realism/

    • Lisa says:

      I think an important point that was missed in the mainstream media (FOX news) is that rapists will rape anyone regardless of how they are dressed. It is hard to believe that not eveyone is aware of these facts. If a man, woman or child is weak, vulnerable or appears to be non-assertive, that is what most rapists look for in an easy victim. I am sure occasionally a woman in a short skirt may be a target, but it is not how she is dressed or not that makes her the target! It is just because she is a woman period and the criminal has the opportunity. It is dangerous to think that certain kinds of dress can protect us, or that certain kinds of dress can make us a victim. In some countries the women are covered from head to toe, but that does not prevent them from being victims of rape and abuse. Telling women what to wear or not to wear is heavy oppression and highly undemocratic.

      People here are free to wear what they want or not and to teach their children what to wear. We do not want the government or one religion through the government to attack women. This is a relgious attack on women no different than that in the Mideast.

      This kind of belittlement and control of women is the kind of attitude that perpetuates and causes rape and abuse without question. It is saying that men cannot control themselves around women, which is crap. If women can control themselves around men, then it has to work the other way around. Sick, abusive people rape and it is about power more than sexual pleasure. Telling women what to wear, calling them names and judging them on their looks is only a few steps away from sexually abusing women. It is the equivalent of emotional and verbal sexual abuse towards women and their sexuality.

      I am glad Slutwalk allows dialogue. I think it is damaging to women and girls even to have to hear this kind of aggressive talk televised and not being able to comment.

  2. Bushfire says:

    Amazing! Thank you so much for all your hard work. I was very proud to be a part of Slutwalk.

  3. Melvinder Singh says:

    You should be proud of not staying quiet,Sonya. Often it is that very quiet. that acquiesces to the entrenched, ingrained gravity of the expected, of that’s the way its always been, its exactly that quiet which corrodes our shared humanity. The subtle but ceaselessly marginalization of people on the installment plan

    On the first of December 1955 in Montgomery, Alabama a 42 year old woman refused to obey bus driver James Blake’s order that she give up her seat to make room for a white passenger. A small act of defiance.

    But now, viewed thru the prism of history and the civil rights movement, I see Rosa Parks shouting a single word into the oppressive quiet of resigned complicity, the one single word that always terrifies the status quo,..the word, No.

    Because whether its a woman sitting on a bus in Montgomery, Alabama or two angry friends reacting to a Facebook post in Toronto, Canada, respect isn’t a luxury.Neither is Truth.

    • bob says:

      You do know that Rosa Parks was part of a group that planned it, don’t you.

      Not saying it was right or wrong but it wasn’t an accidental happening.

  4. Liz says:

    Thanks for your input. I think Slutwalk was a good and badly need initiative. But I find it discouraging that you, the person behind such a great idea bought into the idea the silly stereotype that women who believe in being treated equally to men fit into the stereotype of a‘man-hating, hairy-legged, birkenstock-wearing’ type descriptions that appeared around the term.
    I think its safe to say that most feminists don’t exactly fit that bill. Nor are they ‘extremists’ contrary to what many who feel threatened by women standing up for themselves would like you to think: hence the term ‘feminazi’. If anything, young women need to take back the women’s movement and learn that its o.k to be a feminist.

  5. Brett Aubrey says:

    Puuuuurfect! Especially, “So to hell with those who thought I was a bad person for enjoying sex, who thought I was less deserving of respect.” To hell with them, indeed! Good on ya, Sonya! Yes, I know it it rhymes :-).

  6. Lee says:

    I think slutwalk was badly needed also. I find the officer’s words of such ignorance, given the history of attacks at York University have nothing to do with dress, but the isolated location, and cracks in the campus security.

    I remember once a student joked about how “blue lights” were set up a long a path as a safety measure. Are they calming? Do they attract less moths, and less predators? Yet not an emergency phone (back in the day before cell phones), or a strong security presence was there.

    It’s ironic the most recent attack did have something to do with appearance. The woman was transgendered. It was a homophobic attack caught on camera. Where was campus security?

    I think people prefer scantily clad women enough to not attack them based on dress, but we just use it as a shame tactic/red herring anyway, when we know anyone is vulnerable to rape.

    As for high school slut shaming I think it is where the most serious damage can be done. And it is not always high schoolers but what adults teach their daughters and sons at that age!

    I am a survivor of sexual and physical abuse. My abusers used slut shaming as a tactic. I was physically attacked by all my family one day based on “what a whore” I am. This violence particularly escalated when I was a teen and becoming sexually active. It had nothing to do with the sex I was having but the threat I presented in trying to identify myself as a young woman, or ie. tell a teacher I was traumatized by something. The word whore has such a volatile meaning to me; it incites violence of the worst kind. It seemed my peers used it against me, just based on some kind of vulnerability at first (moreso after the violence crescendoed in my family); not sex (I was not having at that time), not for how I dressed, or being “flirtatious.”

    Girls who are virgins get called sluts to hurt their self esteem.

    When I got called a whore by peers it seemed to really mean, “I want her to have no power, or sense of security she can refer to (by shaming me to every male peer possible, and by sensing I lacked resources in the first place),” or “I want her to be seen as inhuman, so I can mistreat, hit, force sex upon her.” Yes I admit I had run into high schoolers who think like this. Some of them grew up to have children.

    I am willing to bet some parents are moreso the problem behind kids mistreating one another. They kids either see the parent as a source of the problem, and get away from the attitude, and grow up, or the parent transfers the issues well enough onto the kid, and they (unfortunately) go onto repeat a pattern.

    It is sad to hear people’s reactions of, “how dare you go on such a walk.” It’s amazing how people can’t see beyond a word, to see a much bigger issue is really at stake.

  7. Cole says:

    I don’t think you guys understand what this whole thing was put in motion by. The word slut is nothing to be afraid of. A fact was stated; if you don’t want a reaction don’t provoke with clothing that represents your sexuality and stirs something within a person. It’s like telling you not to smoke at a gas station. There is nothing wrong with dressing provocatively, there’s just that risk, you know? I’m stating personal beliefs, it is not my intention to inflame, I’m just coming at this whole thing intellectually. Go ahead with the rally, just understand its basis as it is.

    • Jacq says:

      Cole, I agree that some men will react to “provocative clothng”, but the Police Officer was not saying that, he was saying don’t act like you have a mind of your own and want the same freedoms Men enjoy on that front, because then Men will have the right to slap you down, a woman should be able to wear a tight top and/or a short skirt without a man thinking she is easy, here is the web address of the Metropolitan Police website concerning the myths surrounding Rape, thank god I live in London and not Toronto!

      http://www.met.police.uk/sapphire/myths.htm

      • Kat says:

        I get what Cole is saying but I see it in a different way. I can wear what ever I want. Yes, if you don’t want guys to hit on you it’s a smart move not to wear a short skirt. And if they do, don’t get pissed, it’s just the way our society is. But taking sex, rape, is never ok. Short skirt or a long one.
        Also I don’t think that men see it as a right to slap women down. Most men who see a woman in sexy clothes probably think of sex, but not rape. And most men don’t rape women.
        Rapists are sick people, and in my opinion, should be hanged.

    • Mary E Black says:

      Cole, I beg to disagree. Coming at this from an intellectual point of view (I am a medical doctor, with further multiple degrees including from Harvard, a former university professor), as a mother ( of a teenage girl who is a 16 year old blonde athlete and who wears towering heels and miniskirts when she goes out) and as a woman (who has known all sorts of people who have been raped and abused, some with provocative clothing and some without) I find your arguments naive.

      Who is to judge what is provocative clothing? You? Me? My daughter’s peers? An elderly catholic male judge? A village elder in Pakistan? All who have totally different ideas on what is provocative. There is no way you can stop women being provocative to someone. Even I have been asked to cover up in countries where showing your hair or your knees is considered provocative.

      No means no and it does not matter what you are wearing when you say it.

      • Jinfen says:

        Well all that stuff you put in the first paragraph sounds pretty funny and fake to me, probably isn’t, but still.

        As for the second paragraph you are right. Provocative is different for everyone. Including rapists. A lot of rapists DO act upon physical features, not just clothing but hair, make-up etc. Clothing is a huge reason why rapists rape.

    • st jenny says:

      You’re an idiot. If you run aroung outside in shorts, no shirt, do you expect to get raped? Men get raped too, you know. If you wear red do you expect to get shot because of gang affiliation? The very idea that women are held responsible, rather than the rapist, is what is being protested. The idead that the VICTIM is to blame is what is being rejected. One out of three women is a sexual assault victim.

  8. Donna says:

    I recently experienced a situation at the Durham Region Police Station. I am being stalked by a neighbour and was told, by someone who knows, to report to the police that I am being Criminally Harrassed and I am becoming fearful on personal harm, because his behaviour is getting more erratic and his response was MAYBE HE THINKS YOUR CUTE!! He wouldn’t take me seriously and pretty much laughed at everything I said. Donna

    • Jac-A says:

      Donna, you don’t have to put up with that kind of sexist and dismissive behaviour. Sue them or file a human rights complaint. There are plenty of lawyers in town who specialize in this kind of work.

  9. CapitanObvious says:

    … kinda askin’ for it, no?

    • sjfbarnett says:

      How so? I don’t see how over 3000 people, mostly dressed in what they would wear to work or the library, chanting things like “no means no” or “a dress is not a yes”, demanding respect and not to be assaulted is “asking for it”.

      • Jinfen says:

        “No means no” is the most over used and annoying saying I’ve ever heard. How about…shut the fuck up means shut the fuck up! Doesn’t matter if ‘no means no’, a lot of rapists won’t take no for an answer.

    • Lady says:

      Asking for consensual sex? Perhaps she is.
      But asking for sexual assault? Absolutely not.

    • diane c says:

      if ya dress like a slut, act like a slut and look like a slut then you should be treated like a slut….plain and simple!! If you don’t respect yourself why should anyone else respect you!

      • Cassie says:

        Diane, I will wear whatever the fuck I want to wear. Any woman should wear whatever the fuck she wants to wear. So because a girl dresses provocatively, and may seem “dirty” does that mean she should have someone else’s personal parts be thrust into her own without her consent. I get called a slut because I wear skirts without leggings. I really am sick of this ‘slut’ stereotype. Doesn’t matter WHO you are, HOW you look, or HOW you act; NO means NO! Plain and fucking simple.

        • Jinfen says:

          Nobody’s saying a woman who dresses ‘slutty’ deserves to get raped. We’re saying a woman who dresses like that has a higher chance of getting raped and should generally be careful and not be surprised about looks or comments. You white women are so stuck in this idea that you’re the end all be all of the earth and no one can touch you. You’re just people. Get it through your thick skull.

      • Mary E Black says:

        Diane,

        I remember one teenager who had been abused at home, bought up by a pimp and worked the streets. She looked like a ‘slut’ and acted like one. Her turning point came when after a brutal assault I treated her for her injuries and did not judge her appearance. I treated her as a woman who had been raped. That gesture of respect plus a counsellor who also looked beyond her behaviour and clothes probably saved her life. You can never judge why someone dresses or acts the way they do, it may be choice, it may be a defense, it may be cooercion, it may be any one of a number of reasons. It does not matter. No means no regardless. And I have always believed that you should respect even those who do not respect themselves as there is usually a really good reason why they don’t – and you should be more interested in going beyond that rather than judging.

      • Ted M says:

        Diane. You are an idiot… Plain and simple.

      • Heather says:

        If you could define for me, and everyone else, in detail exactly where the limitations of dressing like a slut and not dressing like a slut are and what the exact actions and behaviours of a slut are? And then accordingly, how you deem such a person “should be” treated? Are you saying they “should be” assaulted?

        What about the 11 year old girl who’s called a slut and internalizes this comment when she’s not showing much skin, hasn’t become sexually active, but another boy or girl simply doesn’t like her? What about the ‘respectable’ individuals who follow all your arbitrary non-slut guidelines and then get assaulted and people assume she must have been a slut because this is how we are encouraging people to think? Won’t people blame her out of turn in your eyes?

        Sluts get shamed the majority of the time, but they often do get respect. I am a slut but you probably wouldn’t call me a slut from my aesthetic 80% of the time. I act in ways to offer respect to most people, I try to offer my support when people need it or want it, I don’t stay silent when offensive jokes are made or people are threatened, I have safer sex practices than most people I know, I continuously work on my own awareness and aim to be as honest as I can, I work on education and outreach. People around me give me respect for who I am, for all the parts of who I am. Do you still think I’m acting in a way where I should expect and accept less respect and protection?

      • Daron says:

        I agree with Diane for the most part. So I am a rich guy with gold bars in my living room. Do I put a sign on the door stating that and leave the house unlocked? It wouldn’t be very wise on my part to do that. Same with girls looking and acting like sluts. If you don’t want the attention that comes with dressing that way then don’t.

      • st jenny says:

        you’re th reason women make 75 cents to every mans dollar. Ignorance begets hate crimes.

        • Jinfen says:

          No the reason women make 75 cents to every mans dollar is because you women don’t work as much as men and take more breaks. Case and point you. if you didn’t spend so much of your worthless time ranting and being a straw man(or woman) online you could get some fucking work done, and maybe earn that dollar you want so bad.

  10. Mark Adams says:

    While the officer’s comment is outrageous, “slut” is not a word women should aspire for. Rather than liberate women, such movements as “slutwalks” will only demean women further. Have some dignity.

    • Mary Tucker (old enough to be your mother) says:

      Yes, “slut” is mostly considered derogatory, but words are often twisted. As a vintage feminist I’ve been saddened to see younger women being fooled by the misappropriation of that word, and by post-feminist irony.
      Women are not demeaned by words, women are demeaned by people who use words against us, to deride us and diminish us.

      I’m a woman and I can, and will, call myself exactly what I like :)

      • Jinfen says:

        Yes, even though feminists refer to ALL men as rapists and murderers, but I don’t hear you talking about that.

    • Vilhelmiina says:

      Meaning is a created by social convention – it is transformed and reinforced (‘performed’) by the exact same practice. You Mark Adams just reinforced all the perhaps ‘more common’ connotations the word slut might have.

      You can just as well use the words ‘love’, ‘dear’, ‘dove’, ‘honey’, ‘princess’, ‘independent beautiful courageous woman’ etc. etc. in a demeaning manner if you wished to.

      As Mary points out, it’s not the word – it’s the people.

  11. George Leroy Tirebiter says:

    I agree with the basic premise that violence is unacceptable and is not excused by how the victim is dressed. Please reflect and comment on this related concern regarding situations that involve no physical contact yet are sometimes described as “violent”.

    If a man exposes his genitals to a woman this is sometimes viewed as “sexual assault”, yet, is the same not true if genders are reversed? If a woman is entitled to express her healthy interest in sex by dressing in a way she believes to be provocative, is a man entitled to do so as well?

    I would like to see everyone entitled to dress as s/he pleases without being subjected either to threats/acts of violence or to claims that such attire is itself a threat/act of violence.

  12. Ken from WI. USA says:

    When I taught a self-defense course for women, I always told the women taking it that when I carried large amounts of money, I was always nervous. Even though I was a 6 foot, 240 lb and tattoo’d biker-type male, there was always the chance that someone would want the cash enough to take the risk.

    That would always lead to a discussion of fair, rightfully so.

    I have a 16 year old daughter now and have had the same sad discussion with her…

    …because the world hasn’t changed. I doubt that it will, in her or my lifetimes.

    These SlutWalks are a good idea and if only one attitude gets changed because of them, they will have been a total success. If one is held in Wisconsin, my daughter and I will be probably there.

    That said, women, never be afraid to run screaming into a shop or group if you think you are in danger. Looking foolish is far better than being hurt. Maybe take a woman’s self-defense course somewhere, too. For until the world betters itself.

  13. MonkeyMan says:

    may be you won’t like my comment but truly I hate my self and my life when I see my 20 daughter dress like slut and carelessly jump from man’s bed to another without any thinking.

    I think this movement mainly will help boys to experience their sexuality and make it easy to abused girls.
    WAKE UP PEOPLE

    • sjfbarnett says:

      I have a question for you, MonkeyMan: should you daughter get assaulted, will you blame her?

      I think it’s dangerous for you to put the onus on your daughter for not getting attacked, instead of the onus on people for not attacking. Sure, people should use common sense in terms of protecting themselves from harm. But if your daughter decides to stop ‘jumping from man’s bed to another’, this will never guarantee her safety.

      A woman expressing sexuality does not mean she is openly inviting someone to assault her.

      We are here to call foul on people’s misinformed ideas about sexuality and assault. We have, indeed, opened many people’s minds on pervasive and stereotypes. Telling people to ‘avoid dressing like a slut’ is dangerous, misinformed and counterproductive.

      I understand a father’s concern for their child {I have my own}, but condemning her actions and laying blame is not the best way to start a conversation about those concerns.

      • Tony says:

        Sounds like you want to have your cake and eat it too.

        • sjfbarnett says:

          Wanting to be a sexual being without fear of insults or attack? Then yes, please give me the whole cake.

      • picnz says:

        Choices and Consequences:

        To openly and freely express oneself is a natural and God given right? Yes or No.

        As a species where do we feel we are headed?

        The pressure to conform must be horrendous

        To conform to what you may ask.

        1/ “Who am I

        2/ Why am I here

        3/ What have I come here to do”

        Indulge me for a moment please

        Lets create Janet Do
        “Hi Janet who are you” mind your own F**** business, but if you must know I/m a Slutwalker.”
        “Why are you here Janet?” “Well I am here to a join bunch of other chicks on a slut march”
        “ I see that Janet but What have you come here to do “ “ Oh we will have a good laugh yell and scream get arrested and my face will be on TV”

        What an aspiration . Human kind has been on the planet for eons ! Learning how to harvest fire. To till the fields. To venture afar to new lands. To Create medicine for improve health. To improve weaponry so we can kill more effectively. You get the picture i/m guessing.

        Having matriculated slut walking what do women kind aspire to next?

        Choices and Consequences:

        • st jenny says:

          Well, fucknut, I believe we aspire to equality. Close the religious text and open your mind.

      • Jinfen says:

        NOBODY IS BLAMING WOMEN FOR GETTING RAPED! People are just saying that if you dress provocatively you will provoke many people. I agree that people should dress how they want(even though most girls are whales and shouldn’t wear short-shorts to save their lives; but that’s a different story) but at the same time they need to accept the consequences that might come with it. You women are so obsessed with this “I can do whatever I want” ideal that you forget that YOU are normal people too. And that YOU need to respect other as well.

    • J.B. says:

      I can’t stand uneducated fools like you!! Please, for your daughter’s sake go read about sexual assault and what its really about!! You need to be more informed before you make statements like that!! I feel bad for your daughter!!

    • st jenny says:

      This may come as a shocking surprise to you…..WOMEN ENJOY SEX. and rightly so. These girls the “guys are experiencing with” may be getting the same thrill out of it.

  14. Fran Higgins says:

    If you think comments about woman’s way of being dressed leads to her being sexually attacked is gross,please read the below article and related other articles on how a hotel employee was raped and had to spend months in jail after being reaped.Her “crime” was being present in the “staff bar” of the hotel.Worst of all,how the hotel authorities did not assist the victim and instead covered up the crime and contributed to her misery.

    ‘No support’ for Raped Employee of Le Meridien Al Aqah Hotel.
    You could read the below article in its published version on the following link.
    http://www.smh.com.au/queensland/no-support-for-raped-employee-20110330-1cfwj.html

    The Sydney Morning Herald
    Dan Nancarrow
    March 30, 2011
    A Brisbane woman who was raped, drugged and jailed for adultery has angrily refuted claims by a United Arab Emirates resort that it came to her aid during her ordeal.
    Alicia Gali has launched a civil claim for damages in the Queensland Supreme Court after an alleged assault by three co-workers while drinking at the Le Meridien Al Aqah Beach Resort staff bar in Fujairah, UAE, in June 2008.
    The incident led to her being sentenced to 12 months in prison for adultery.
    In response to Ms Gali’s claims the resort failed to have systems in place to protect workers against assault and its legal consequences inside the UAE, the resort yesterday claimed it provided adequate support to her during the ordeal.
    Speaking on Mr Gali’s behalf her lawyer, Maurice Blackburn Lawyers associate Melissa Payne, said Ms Gali was angered by the comments of the resort.
    “There was precious little support for her – financial or medical,” Ms Payne said.
    “Alicia travelled alone in a taxi to hospital to be examined after her assault.
    “When she was in prison the most that was arranged for her was a thin mattress to sleep on and that was delivered by the Australian Embassy.
    “When Alicia needed money, she contacted her family by telephone, and they arranged for the hotel to give her small amounts of money and that came from her own salary. That money was only sufficient to make telephone calls and buy personal hygiene products. Her family paid all legal bills.”
    In response to hotel’s claim that it arranged Ms Gali’s family to travel from Australia to the UAE, Ms Payne said this was not the case.
    “The Hotel did not arrange for her family to come from Australia to the UAE. Alicia’s family did not travel to the UAE at all,” she said.
    “When Alicia’s brother contacted the Hotel for assistance on a number of occasions, the Hotel failed to respond.”
    Le Meridien Al Aqah Beach Resort in Fujairah is part of the international Starwood group of hotels.
    Read news articles from newspapers and news sites from around the world on this incident using below hyper-links or URLS.
    Drugged, raped, then jailed for ‘adultery’-Brisbane Times,28.03.2011
    http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/world/drugged-raped-then-jailed-for-adultery-20110328-1cd7p.html
    Rape victim sues UAE luxury hotel-9 News 28.03.2011
    http://news.ninemsn.com.au/national/8229687/rape-victim-sues-uae-luxury-hotel
    Rape victim sues UAE luxury hotel –The Age.co.au ,28.03.2011
    http://news.theage.com.au/breaking-news-national/rape-victim-sues-uae-luxury-hotel-20110328-1cd6q.html
    Alicia Gali Raped then Jailed for Adultery-Suing Employer -newswrapped.com,28.03.2011
    http://www.newswarped.com/tag/le-meridien-al-aqah-beach-resort/
    No support’ for raped employee
    Sydney Morning Herald ,29.03.2011
    http://www.smh.com.au/queensland/no-support-for-raped-employee-20110330-1cfwj.html
    Australian Rape Victim Sues Her Employer UAE Hotel
    unmid.com,30.03.2011
    http://www.ummid.com/news/2011/March/30.03.2011/aus_rape_victims_in_uae.htm
    An Australian’s Plight For Justice After Sexual Abuse in UAE
    The Epoch Times,31.03.2011
    http://www.theepochtimes.com/n2/world/an-australians-plight-for-justice-after-sexual-abuse-in-uae-53933.html

  15. Zeus says:

    “I could almost hear the blame dripping from the word.”

    Really? To me, it sounds like an experienced professional who has had several encounters with rape victims and noticed a strong correlation between the way a student chooses to dress and their likelihood of getting raped. In fact, this was his entire statement:

    “You know, I think we’re beating around the bush here,” he reportedly told them. “I’ve been told I’m not supposed to say this – however, women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimised”. (Source: BBC.co.uk)

    Clearly he acknowledged that what he was about to say might be taken the wrong way, but at the same time he realized that if he’s trying to help these students protect themselves from being raped, then telling them not to dress provocatively is actually some of the best advice he could give a student.

    You seem to confuse his advice on how to avoid being raped as a finger-pointed towards all rape victims. You failed to realize that telling an individual how to avoid a particular incident is NOT the same as telling that individual that they partly CAUSED the incident.

    For example, imagine a 4 lane road: during one particular stretch of this road there is no median between the opposing lanes of traffic and as a result, accidents have been known to frequently occur and most of them involve drivers that choose to use the left lane instead of the right. As a result, the police in the area advise drivers to not drive in the left lane, especially during bad weather and road conditions.

    Would you interpret the police officer’s advice as placing blame on all the safe drivers that simply chooses to use the left lane? Or are they simply offering advice on how one can lower their chances of being involved in such an accident?

    Furthermore, If one was to drive on this road and get killed by an oncoming drunk driver then its clearly the drunk drivers fault. But it also means that the sober driver could have prevented the accident by driving in the right lane. This is called defensive driving, and is recommended and taught by most driving schools in Canada. So I ask you again: When the driving instructor warns you against driving in the left lane on roads with no median, is he blaming all drivers that have ever been killed by an oncoming drunk driver for their own death? Or is he simply using his experience to provide useful knowledge on how to avoid an accident?

    Telling your child to look both ways before he crosses the road is not the same as blaming all previously run-over children for their own death. What I’m trying to point out is that it is possible to avoid accidents even if they are entirely not your fault. This officer was simply providing the audience a method of lowering their chances of being raped based on his personal experience with rape victims. He never once blamed anyone, and the notion that you could “almost hear the blame drip…” from his words (the ones you read off of your electronic screen) is meaningless and exaggerated.

    TL;DR: As long as proactively dressed women get raped at a significantly higher rate than others, the officers advice is nothing but a method of lowering one’s chance of having something terrible happen to them (at no fault of their own).

  16. Lcb says:

    This is ridiculous. Give it up!!!!!

  17. joe says:

    she mentions she has a son……………….i’ll give anyone 10/1 odds that she is NOT with the father.

    • sjfbarnett says:

      14 years with my first and only husband (the father of the child), extremely happily married, thank you very much.

    • Heather says:

      Seeing as you were the one to suggest a bargain and you lost, I think you should donate some money to SlutWalk. :) If not, at least think about the assumptions you make and how you phrase them to try to condescend others.

    • smartalek says:

      i’ll give anyone 10/1 odds that she is NOT with the father.” -joe

      Now, understand, we’re not blaming you, and you alone, for being wrong (and not a bit wrong, but diametrically, completely and entirely, 180º-opposite wrong at that).
      We’re not saying you, and you alone, are responsible for being so wrong (not necessarily so, or completely and entirely so, anyway).
      But you do need to recognize that when you make such extreme and overblown assertions based on zero — or less-than-zero — evidence, when you dress up your arguments in such skimpy attire, you considerably increase the probability that you’ll be wrong.
      So, y’know, maybe you should consider not, y’know, not presenting yourself as a person who’s just begging to be all wrong, all the time.
      (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)
      Oh, and of course you need to be aware that there are certain parts of the blogosphere that you should just know you’re not equipped to handle — certain places that are not safe for you, and that you therefore need to just stay out of, if you don’t want to get into trouble that you can’t handle, and might live to regret. Again, this isn’t (necessarily or entirely) your fault, but, y’know, if you’ve been duly warned of the dangers, and you choose willingly to go into such places despite these warnings, well, you can’t really be surprised if something… unpleasant… should happen to you there.
      ‘K?

  18. Asif says:

    Seriously, just tell me that u women are not THIS Dumb… o my God … SLUTWALKKKKKK ???!! Hahahah! this has to be the coolest word ever invented and funny as hell, u women are just abysmally dumb to organize such an event cause u know wot??? This event makes you girls\women a full slut in our eyes, seriously, after this day, you people are really all just be viewed as sluts that wanna get banged by us in anyway we prefer.

    we would also like to participate in this tasty march just to have some sexual fun with you women while we walk on the streets, surely you people wont mind !

  19. Eric says:

    My apologies, I may be a tad confused but is this an ‘event’ to celebrate sexuality, denounce violence against women, challenge the use of the term ‘slut’ in a belittling and uncomplimentary manner or all of the above? Either way I assume you will be heard only by like-minded supporters and casual bystanders, both of whom represent zero-threat to all the intended viewpoints. Will ‘slutwalk’ reach the required ‘target audience’ to make a satisfactory impact? Nevertheless, I wish the event fair-tidings on the road ahead.

  20. Hal says:

    Aspiring to be like a slut hugely demeans proper women. You should be ashamed of yourselves. You do not represent respectable people. You are a moronic minority of bandwagon jumpers. Get real. Grow up. Become mature human beings. Learn some respect for others and yourselves.

    • st jenny says:

      And who is a respectable person? The president? A congresswoman? A woman covered head to toe, three steps behind her husband, not allowed to lead a life her own? As an AMERICAN PERSON I find myself finding those with open minds the most respectable….As an AMERICAN WOMAN I will dress how I like, think how I like, practice what religion I like, have sex with whom I would like, and FULLY EXPECT not to be hated, disrespected, slandered, or attacked. I’m sure you expect the same for yourself, so please, expect the same for me.

  21. Mili says:

    I read an article about your movement on the BBC website and was really pleased to hear about people who think the same as me on this issue. I live in Zurich, Switzerland. There is a billboard advertising campaign running at the moment for bikinis. I won’t mention the name of the company because I don’t want to give them any further publicity. The ad features a sexy lady wearing a hot bikini but the bikini is covered in scratch marks. The tag line is “Wear at your own risk”. I have no problem with the sexy lady or the hot bikini. But I have a HUGE PROBLEM with the implicit assumption that wearing a hot bikini is inviting an assault. And they are using this to sell bikinis!!!!

    I really hope you agree with me that this is an awful way to sell bikinis to young women.

    • Missy says:

      Hi Mili,

      Advertisements like this are unfortunately rife in my home country of Australia. I am part of a group called Collective Shout (http://collectiveshout.org/) that attempts to fight companies using sexploitative imagery in advertising (to varying degrees of success). Perhaps there is a similar organisation in Switzerland? You could contact Collective Shout and ask?

      Just an aside note, it can be so confusing in this post modern technological world of ours- it’s great to see the internet being used to rally people for this cause and smilar causes, however I feel the internet is creating so many problems with the wrong sort of information being shared so easily too…

    • picnz says:

      It’s about Choices & Consequences:

      I believe it is a fundamental right to be 100% responsible for all the choices we make in our life, (that is when one has arrived at this realisation)

      Obviously the company *MARKETING* said garment think so as well.

      It is stated somewhere(,)” God gave us the right to express free will in order to differentiate us from the beasts of the field”.

      Free will isn’t something that everybody on this planet can enjoy

      And there a lot of beast like behaviour amongst human beings taking place.

      I understand some folk describe this behavior as examples of *Reptilian Energy* manifesting itself. (Goad not, for yea might be smited)

      Choices: Warning lable, falure to apply sunscreen prior to wearing this garment could.

      Consequence: Cause undo concern to onlookers witnessing a female in an aluring revealing evening gown, being questioned by The Local constabulary regarding, *burned scratch marks found to be on this ladies person*

      • Heather says:

        Your posts don’t appear to be very clear at all times picnz, but you suggest we’re responsible for our choices. I agree. Rape and sexual assault is defined as being without consent and without choice. Therefore, it’s very easy to understand that those who are assaulted when that was not their choice, are in absolutely no way to blame and have are not responsible. I think you helped make this quite clear.

  22. "Why" says:

    1)Why so women dress provocatively in the first place? And to be fair, why do men dress in the same manner?

    As a man, I can attest to the fact that when I “had” the physique I thought was desirable among women, I would wear tight shirts, pants, etc…..would go shirtless to get out them 6-packs, etc…..

    And it produced the exact results I was looking for. And if I ended up getting grabbed in a club, I thought it was a compliment as long as it did not go further than that.

    Now, again, why do women dress this way?

    If it walks like a duck………………

    • Kat says:

      I don’t see how anything you said has anything to do with sexual assault.
      If a woman who you didn’t find attractive grabbed your ass and said that you will have sex now, should you have done it? Just because you asked for it?
      See, if I put on a short dress, high heels and go to a club, I want attention. If a hot guy comes up to me with a drink, I might leave with him. But if a fat, ugly guy hits on me, I usually don’t find it very hot.
      So if a person dresses provocatively does that mean that everyone can have a go? It’s almost the same that if I see a nice think in the store can I just take it cause I want to??

  23. Colleen says:

    What a great inspirational blog about “sluts”. When I first heard the word I was in high school and it was always about girls that weren’t too bright. They were sort of dull-eyed and had frizzy hair; you knew they weren’t going any where in life and just decided ‘what the hell”; giving blow jobs to guys in school stairwells was just what they wanted to do. Or so I thought. I grew up and started to see these women around town; professional, mothers, well-dressed and beautifully coiffed hair. And I was confused.
    I went through my own “slut” stage. Separated from my husband, pissed off at men, just started flirting and drinking and it was amazingly easy to get all this male attention. Actually, I didn’t sleep with any of these guys, but you certainly wouldn’t know that if you talked to any of the people in the crowd I was running with. I started getting stern, disgusted looks from the women and leering smiles from the men. It was all pretty crazy and I started to feel really guilty about those women in high school that I had so casually labeled.
    We have to take back the word ‘slut”; make it a life-affirming and joyous.
    Don’t let women and men formed by patriarchy own this word.
    P.S. Please let me apologize to all those women I looked down on…if its any comfort, I have proudly joined your ranks.

  24. John Newton says:

    I am curious as to how SLUTWALK percieves the FEMEN organization in Ukraine.

    Apparently Ukraine has become a sexual holiday travel destination and the women all over Ukraine are being subjected to verbal sexual assault in public by foreign men because of it.

    The FEMEN protests in “provacative” attire and/or bare breasted to garner attention to this problem and use a sloglan that all of Ukraine is a brothel.

    Would FEMEN be considered an ally?

  25. Gordon says:

    I support your courage in standing up for what is right and proper for each human being. In our modern, free society it is shamefull that your views are not self evident but that is I guess human nature. We are lucky to live in free societies: most of this world does not!

  26. pan says:

    If have attached your website to my blog ~ Love the movement!
    http://lastexittoreality.wordpress.com/2011/05/09/i-%E2%9D%A4-sluts/

  27. terence callachan says:

    i understand why that cop said what he said.for those women that say they can dress as they wish and that any reaction they get from men ( and sometimes other women ) is injustice it strikes me as being ignorant that they can hold that view.you always have to take into account the people you are with or likely to meet when you dress and yes that means thinking about others.some women walk about with boobs hanging out of their top and wonder why men react , well come into the real world girls.women react to the way men dress too , perhaps not as much or as often but it happens.im not saying that its okay for men to attack women just because they dress a certain way but hey if you know it can happen then take avoidance action the same way you would if there were any other risks you are likely to encounter.

    • Kat says:

      If I see a woman with her boobs hanging out, yes, I’d say that was sexual assault in way. But again, as I said in previous comments, does it mean that everything you see and might want, you can take? So If your wearing a dress that I like I can just take it cause you were showing it off? That is absolutely silly.

    • J.B. says:

      You are and idiot!! You are misinformed and uneducated about sexual assault!! in a later post someone said if a man walking down the street carrying $1000 in his pocket gets robbed is he at fault or the person robbing him? Good luck convincing a judge that the victim is at fault. So why do you blame the woman in a rape scenario? Not to mention stranger rapes are extremely rare it’s “date” or “acquaintance” rape that is statistically more likely to occur. In pretty well all of these cases the women were dressed in normal everyday clothing such as jeans and a t-shirt. You are the reason why woman are so angry! Go to the library or an online sight about rape statistics and read!! Don’t go spouting off your stupid opinion until you are informed please!!

  28. GingerS says:

    What is not being said here is that the majority of women who are raped or sexually assaulted are NOT attacked by stranger. Less than 10% of such assaults are perpetrated by strangers. A woman in jeans and a t-shirt has the same risk (if not even higher risk if you count acquaintance rape) of being assaulted as a woman dressed in more accentuating clothes.

    Additionally, sexual assault is not about “sex”, but power. A woman does not need to dress provocatively to draw the ire of a man who wants to abuse her in such a way. It is important that we as a society recognize who is responsible for perpetrating crimes and punish these perpetrators accordingly. If a man carrying a $1,000 in his pocket is robbed, you would not expect a jury to acquit the robber because the man with the money was “asking for it” by carrying around all that money. No. Why should it be any different if a woman wants to wear high heels and a dress?

    • J.B. says:

      Finally someone who gets it! People are sadly misinformed about rape and sexual assault statistics. I think that this should be taught to high school kids in health class. Perhaps we wouldn’t have comments like what that officer said if they were well educated on the subject!!

  29. Chris says:

    To me, the contention of a women expressing her sexuality is divided by a generation gap, though probably more pronounced on the male side. This will almost certainly resolve itself over time, sped by more deliberate actions like this movement.

    However, to me, this movement is pushing ‘extreme’ feminine sexuality the same way the ‘pick-up artist’ pushes ‘extreme’ male sexuality. Instead of rallying around a single sexual buzz word that will eventually date itself anyway, couldn’t we have a reasonable discourse presented in a way so as NOT to polarize your audience before they hear what you have to say? (Hence defeating your movement by having your target ‘turn off’ before they’ve heard what you have to say?)

    But hey, I get that SlutWalk is more than a message to miscellaneous others. Just… you know, if you want to change the world, you’ve gotta talk to the people who don’t already agree with you. This movement is only in ‘Step 1′ of its public dialogue: gather your base.

  30. Cassie says:

    I’d like to say, I highly appreciate what you are doing. There are many women who see how men differ from them(Getting praised for being sexual, where women are called ‘sluts’ and ‘whores’) but few will act on this and stand up for it. I for one am so sick and tired of wanting to do or dress as I please, but having to disregard all of that in fear I’ll be assaulted by some disgusting pig who watches Lolita in his closet.

    For the longest time, barbaric people raped women when taking over a town or village to show their ‘power’. What power is there in that, especially in this day and age where you’re instantly frowned upon by so many as soon as you even attempt to rape a woman, let alone fully do so.

    For one who was assaulted herself, let me explain something. When I was assaulted, I was sleeping in just panties and a t-shirt. I was 12 years old, and the assaulter was someone I knew. I know many people would have said, “Oh, you were in your panties you should have known better”. Should I have? A girl should be able to feel comfortable wearing anything, and not having to worry about someone who would commit such a heinous act. Over 80,000 rapes are reported a year. That’s ONLY reported, and many women are too ashamed to report something because they believe it’s their fault.

    I believe that the reason they blame themselves, is people who would say they provoked it. We were having a class discussion and someone had the nerve to say, “Why can’t all women just say no? It’s so easy! They probably wanted it.” and being one who was assaulted, I was appalled that those words could even come out of someone’s mouth.

    My friend is attending a Psychology class and they were studying what the world perceives genders and races to be. The teacher stated that white women are often seen as nothing but a sexual object, and black females as nothing but animals. This seriously needs to change.

    Please do a SlutWalk in Idaho, Coeur d’Alene to be precise. I, as well as many females who have read your article in the newspaper, would gladly attend it.

    Thank you.

    • Sara says:

      I’m rather confused as to what you’re trying to say. You’re making a point up to “someone’s mouth”, then you contradict yourself. If:

      “white women are often seen as nothing but a sexual object, and black females as nothing but animals. This seriously needs to change.”

      Then do you really think that “Slutwalks” are the best way of achieving this? Let’s all walk around naked because we feel like it and have the right to but still demand somehow that we NOT be looked at in a sexual way? Rubbish.

  31. picnz says:

    Choices-Consequences-Responsibility
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Being a concerned soul for whatever reason finding myself on this Blog

    I decided to put “it” out to the universe, in this case the electronic universe.

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2011/may/08/slutwalk-not-sexual-liberation

  32. picnz says:

    Choices-Consequences-Responsibility
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Being a concerned soul for whatever reason finding myself on this Blog

    I decided to put “it” out to the universe, in this case the electronic universe.

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2011/may/08/slutwalk-not-sexual-liberation

  33. bogbeagle says:

    I see that your activism is predicated upon the truth that “each of you owns your own body; that it’s yours to do with as you will”.

    Well, I would urge you to cling to this truth and to expand it to other fields.

    For instance, it must also be true that your choice of drug use is solely your business … that it is no business of the State.

    Similarly, that the product of your labour belongs solely to you … not the State.

    Once you begin to think in this way, you will discern the myriad injustices which comprise Governance by the State.

  34. Garp says:

    I think this might bring further clarity to the discussion:

    http://garplives.blogspot.com/2011/05/why-slutwalk-is-exercise-in-stupidity.html

  35. Mary says:

    I must admit to be completely baffled by SultWalk. When a police officer tells someone to lock their door no one gets offended, but by God I should be allowed to walk around with my ass hanging out and my boobs showing and not expect some unscrupulous male might well, act in a way to harm me. You lock the door to keep bad things out of your home. You don’t dress like slut so you don’t become an easy target for a man who is going to rape no matter what. It’s LOGICAL SENSE!!!! You get from the universe what you put out into it. If you dress in a way that says you are easy, then don’t be surprised when the criminal takes the easy target. Who’s the rapist going to rape? The woman’s who butt cheeks are hanging out of her skirt or the women wearing jeans? Go a head and make it easy for the criminal to be a criminal. It would be wonderful if I didn’t have to lock my door, but sadly we live in a world where we HAVE to lock the door. Please stop this insanity and stop telling my daughters it’s ok to walk around with the “door unlocked.” This in disgusting and irresponsible on the part of any woman who actually cares about another woman’s safety. A slut mean a dirty woman. If that’s how you want sane people to look at you, then by all means it’s your right to have them do so, but stop the senseless stupidity before someone gets hurt. This is not the way to gain the respect of men. When you do irrational and not logical things they will continue to think of women as crazy and not rational. A man locks his door to keep the criminals out. Please, be his equal and take the same precautions.

    • Jac-A says:

      He’s going to rape whichever woman looks the most vulnerable and easy to target, regardless of how she is dressed.

      Sexual assault is a crime of opportunity. You’re an idiot if you think dressing conservatively will protect you. That is why the officer’s comment was offensive -because women’s dress has no statistical correlation to sexual assault.

      Why not blame the man who chooses to rape instead of the woman who chose nothing? It’s like blaming the homeowner who goes on vacation for a break-in that happens while he is away. But you wouldn’t blame the homeowner in that case. The door was locked, as you said.

      But there is no door that a woman can lock. She is at risk because she is a woman, and it has nothing to do with her dress. I was raped the first time while wearing flannel pajamas with a cartoon character on them (at the age of six). I was raped the second time while in an ankle length dress. He beat me up and strangled me until I lost consciousness. I was raped the third time while wearing baggy jeans and a baggy sweater. Of course, by this point I hated myself enough that I tried as hard as I could to hide myself from the world and I wore clothing that covered my entire body and I walked with my head down. You know what, it didn’t help. I think it actually made me more of a target. Do you know why? Because these guys prey on the weak, regardless of how they dress. They prey on those who cannot fight and they are experts at identifying who those people are. They prey on you because you are a woman and because they can get away with it.

      So get your head out of your behind. May you live through half of what I have lived through, so you can see for yourself how important your clothing is and the senselessness of your sanctimonious preaching.

      • Jinfen says:

        I’m having a hard time believing you were raped. Since you’re so easy to talk about it. But it is true that physical features is what makes someone attracted to someone else, be it clothing, hair or make up. I think you got raped because you were a close and easy seeming target. I can guarantee you that if Pamela Anderson was in the same room in daisy dukes and a T-shirt she would get raped(though, I personally am not attracted to her but a lot of ppl are).

  36. David Vanderhoof says:

    As a man I agree with the logic of the women. If you got it flaunt it and stick to your “right” to do that, not whether it is “morally right” or a good idea. So over the course of the last week , I tried it myself and it works. Read on for my examples:

    -in Montreal, when i was swimming I strolled around in a tight speedo. Some women were looking at me and I glared back at them. Why are they looking at me? How dare they.

    - I am wealthy, and a Porche among other things and I’m aware that people don’t, yet might find taht attractive. I used to play it down out of respect…but not anymore!. I feel good when I drive around in my sportscar and get looked at. So I went to a poorer area and stood in front of my shiny Porche and counted money when hungry people walked by. It’s true! it raised my self-esteem and I feel empowered knowing that is my “right.” Feeling empowered about stuff like this is important.

    -I have 3 kids and I’m aware than many 40′s women are trying to have them. Rather than being modest at at party on Saturday I showed them off and gushed on and on about how great it is to have a family so that they would look at and envy me and so that I codul feel good about all the attention.

    Thanks ladies! if you got it flaunt it-it’s the right thing to do!

    • Jinfen says:

      And that is exactly how they get into situations of rape. They ‘flaunt’ it to the wrong people(not purposely but still). Look at all the attention you got, you just proved what I said.As for you agreeing with the women, well, of course you do, you’re a white man. White men are some of the most pussy-whipped, self-loathing stooges around. Cut off your penis, you don’t deserve one.

  37. J.B. says:

    I am so proud of all these women who went out there to protest against the comment made by that particular officer. My husband is an officer for Toronto and he was thoroughly disgusted by what he said. I cannot believe the ignorance out there that still exists about sexual assault. Our country especially men really need to be educated about rape and sexual assault. Our boys should be taught at an early age that womens’ bodies are not their property and they do not have the right to take control over it. Again, I applaud these women and I wish I could have been there marching with them that day!!

  38. Jac-A says:

    The first time I was raped, I wore flannel pajamas with a cartoon character on them. I was six years old.

    The second time I was raped, I was wearing a baggy ankle length dress with an Indian print. I was beaten and strangled until I lost consciousness. The assailant was a long time family friend.

    I engaged in a serious of pathetic suicide attempts and was in and out of hospitals. I hated myself and I dressed in the baggiest jeans I could find and baggy t-shirts. I kept my head down, spoke in whispers, and jumped whenever someone spoke to me unexpectedly. I was 15. And I was still 15 when I was raped for the third time, while wearing those baggy clothes. I think he targeted me because he saw that I was completely broken. I had no will to live and this final time merely curled into a ball and started fantasizing about my next suicide attempt.

    One day, many years later, I returned to the world of the living.

    I am one of the faces of sexual assault. My clothing had nothing to do with it. Like most crime, sexual assault is a crime of opportunity. Thieves don’t break into the houses with the fanciest decorations, they break into houses where it is easy to break in. Likewise, rapists rape when they think they can get away with it. You can wear a burqua and it won’t save you. You can lock yourself in your home and that won’t save you either, since 90% of rape victims know their rapists and many are raped in their own homes. This is why the officer’s comment was offensive. Not only is it victim-blaming, it is bad advice.

    But keep telling yourselves that only “bad women” who dress provocatively get assaulted, if that’s what lets you sleep at night. But the truth is it can happen to any of us at any time. Even you. Even your child.

  39. Nikita Blue says:

    It seems as though the word “slut” is a bit superfluous, however; why aren’t we all just “human”? Slut or asexual or whomever?? Word on my blog: http://goddessblue.wordpress.com/2011/05/12/its-my-vagina/

  40. Munch says:

    The irony doesn’t slip by me that at the same time that Slutwalk is being organised to highlight that women are deserving of respect no matter how they dress, France has already prosecuted two women for wearing face veil under legislation the country has just created.

  41. Munch says:

    Dear David Vanderhoof,

    Have you experienced a lifetime of oppression because you have been given mixed messages from people who are out to control you about whether you can or cannot show off your speedos, Porshe or children?
    Have you had a police officer who is supposed to protect you from serious, internal assault to your body whose wages come from your tax tell you that if anything bad happens to you, you deserve it for showing off your speedos, your Porshe or your children?
    Have you any idea what real impact of sexual assault and rape on an individual is?
    Are any of your children female?
    If the answer to any of these questions is ‘no’, you still have much to learn before you can truely understand and align yourself with what women face every single hour of every single day.

    • Jinfen says:

      Have you experienced a lifetime of oppression because you have been given mixed messages from people who are out to control you about whether you can or cannot show off your speedos, Porshe or children?
      - Men have had that too. They all had to wear suits and ties.

      Have you had a police officer who is supposed to protect you from serious, internal assault to your body whose wages come from your tax tell you that if anything bad happens to you, you deserve it for showing off your speedos, your Porshe or your children?
      - He never said that you moron, he just said women should be careful.

      If the answer to any of these questions is ‘no’, you still have much to learn before you can truely understand and align yourself with what women face every single hour of every single day.
      - Most women don’t face this though you ignorant prick. Actually, they get better treatment than men. Especially you white men, but you’re all too stupid and oblivious to know.

  42. Munch says:

    Mary,

    Your comment shows a jaw-droppingly astonishing lack of understanding of the following issues;
    1) which women are targetted for rape, why and by whom
    2) where the responsibility for committing rape actually lies
    3) what makes women and men equal
    4) who defines what is rational and sane
    5) regardless of original meaning, how the word ‘slut’ is used today to control women, women’s sexuality and women’s lives.
    I feel for your daughters. Wake up woman before it’s too late.

  43. Munch says:

    Garp,

    No, the blog by T.S. Garp (presuming this is you) doesn’t enlighten us in anyway. Let me get this ‘straight’ (after all, the blog only addresses one person’s perceptions/assumptions of heterosexuality) what you are saying is that if a woman is called a ‘slut’, she’ll just have to accept it because how men and women choose to behave in society is determined by how men and women are biologically programmed, defined by whether they have a womb or sperm. Further, that if a woman steps out of the bounds of behaviour that is expected of her (because of her biology) she should understand that she is not behaving to ‘type’ and therefore opening herself to being cursed as a slut.
    But heaven forbid! That she should call herself a ‘slut’ and take away from those that would control her, her sexuality and her life, their power of the word and all their control of her that lies behind the word.
    You say that women should just ignore the patriarchal nonsense that their own fathers and father-figures impose upon them. Well actually, most women do to a large extent try to ignore the indoctrination that has been imposed on them from the time their sex is known to the world (starting as early as when they are still a fetus). And herein lies the problem which you have failed to acknowledge. This ignorance, this dismissal, this silence is a massive part of the problem. When the ‘father-figure’ is someone whose wages come from women’s hard-earned taxes and whose job it is to protect all women regardless of what they look like, then a demonstration of this kind is far, far from ‘silly’. It is actually acknowledging that it is attitudes like his that permit rape to happen, that attitudes like his are prevalent in the police, in the judiciary, in politics and amongst legislators and policy-makers and amongst all those institutions that hold power over women’s lives. A walk like this acknowledges that responsiblity for rape lies with the rapist, not the victim, that what she was wearing has not the slightest bearing on why she was raped.
    Unless you’ve have ever been held responsible or made to feel responsible for the actions of others, actions which are out of your control and unless you’ve ever had the most intimate part of your selfhood violated, you will never understand the necessity of a protest like Slutwalk, of the necessity to take back power you have been cheated out of.

  44. picnz says:

    Choices-Consequences-Responsibility-Ability to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes.

    1/ I try to estimate the silent trauma an anguish, members of any police team that is involved Rape/ assault/ murder / road fatalities drink driving etc.
    The officer who made the comments openly to a victim, what might have been happening in his day. Does anybody know or care whats going on in his life.

    In New Zealand the public viewer of television will be open challenged by the Drink and Drive campaigns (Quote” If you drink and drive you are a bloody idiot” unquote”) or (quote “see and be seen Drive with headlights on” unquote)

    Question *was the police officer verbalising his thoughts based on Statistics records of previous incidents*

    2/ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ethical_Slut

    This blog I am imagining is about an individuals right to think and live in a certain way.

    A/ to engage in thought that may lead to acting out sexually if said individual chooses to do so; eg “I may present my person in a provocative manner because i choose to seek out responses and may wish to explore my feelings surrounding all of that”.

    When a little girl child carries around a toy replica of a baby because she like/love said toy doesnt mean she is looking to creat a pregnancy for herself.

    B/ The ability to access knowledge for ones self in order to make informed choices this blogs author was definitely offended at the possibility that a police officer didnt know or care about using the term slut in his comments.

    C/ When a prostitute (a bone-fide tax paying business person in New Zealand) complains of being raped, it may well be that an agreement was breached and the said business person did not agree to what was being asked of that person.

    D/ I could accuse the author of this blog and the slut walk programme that it has re traumatised victims of rape that have come into contact with this gathering but i wont.

    E/ please read all the comments on this blog and other blogs and see if it possible to imagine, mentally,, physically, “what it might be to walk a mile in the rape victims shoes,” in each of the comments made and the hyperlinks attempt to imagine.

    On a brighter note.

    Date 15/May 2011
    Ell/Nikki – Running Scared (Winners of the 2011 Eurovision Song Contest)

    the song about a young couple who are saturated in adoration for each other . How lovely it would be to walk in their shoes right now.

  45. Jinfen says:

    Okay so, women can wear whatever they want and deserve to not get called names for it? Okay then, how about I wear a T-shirt with a big swastika on it but I don’t want to be called names because I can wear whatever I want. And nobody should call me a Nazi because it’s my freedom of choice.

    That’s the same logic. People would obviously call me a Nazi because well…I LOOK LIKE ONE! It would also attract much negative attention because of the history. Just like with sluts, the history and the meaning of the word would give people a bad impression. It’s just society and you women are so hell bent on your “liberation” that it goes full circle and you not only hurt others around you, but yourselves too. Ever heard the phrase “check yourself before you wreck yourself”? Too late women, you’ve wrecked yourselves.

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